Unusual Girl Studios

Today, barely able to stop bouncing, my daughter shot me a grin. " That's it!" I said, "You are too cute, I am getting the camera!"

Yep, said I wouldn't but who can resist the temptation to peel back those tiny, shiny pieces of laminated paper? Who can resist daydreaming for just a short while of what bills could be anhilated and what could be done with what's left over? How would I outfit my art studio? First with lots and lots of windows, lots and lots of supplies, and lots and lots of me. Maybe even a mini studio with in the studio for the girls. Maybe boarding school for the girls? Who knows, after all, I have to think of what is in their best interests! I'm keeping this post short. I know the last one was wayyyy too long. But, I had to get there, you know? And, it was a long and winding road getting there. Sorry!!! But if I can't digress in my own blog than what's the point of having one? Have a great and Happy Halloween!

Don't mess with me- I have skills. Striving for balance I have to say that if ever I had a goal towards a healthy (thinking brain, here, not body) life, that goal is to achieve balance. I do work towards it. I yearn for it as the answer to all that is wrong in my life. I know that balance is an essential ingredient in any person's makeup but for me- I need it. Now, working towards it doesn't mean I have it. Needing it doesn't mean I am guaranteed it. Problems almost always involve fear - When I have a fear I force myself to ask the question- is that a reasonable fear? What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation? Sometimes the worst part of the situation is that yucky feeling I get from being afraid. So if I can solve that part of the problem with a little tough love directed at myself then I'm on my way. Being someone who trained themselves to think "worst case scenario" (a device I created as a way to predict any and all possible outcomes...

I drove through the golden arches to grab a cup of coffee this morning and the ever-freindly recorded voice asked me- Would you like to order a such and such to get a monopoly game piece? HA!!!! NO thanks McDonalds! You might have sucked me into Monopoly last year but not again! Nope, not stringing me along this time. Not collecting tiny squares of vinyl coated paper. Not allowing myself to imagine myself on the billboard jumping with joy at having won a million dollars. Not collecting saturated fat pounds on my hips, nope, and this year....I spare my gallbladder the vicious onslaught of grease. I will remain poor but victorious in my restraint. Take that to the fat farm, McDonalds!

So busy, tired, old, barely the strength to type this note... yep, overbooked again. Between the two classes I teach and the two young ones with their homework, the other job, the house, the laundry.....I'm too tired for sex, oops, thought you were the hubby, I mean, I am too tired to be creative! I don't have time to have a thought in my head let alone have a thought do that thing...that thing where it wiggles and jiggles, takes tiny nibbles of my grey matter until it becomes bigger than the other thoughts on the roster, so big and loud that it just has to be let out before the top of my skull pops off. Or itchy, somethimes they are itchy thoughts that have to be scratched open so the questions, opinions, conclusions ooze out. Nope, none of that going on right now. 'cept for that one thing. The comment made by a student of mine....it may need adressing, not so much the comment itself, but more the reaction it stirred in my black little heart and injured, wobbly ego. ...