Sunday, October 30, 2011

Happy Halloween!!!

Hey doesn't everyone have an old First Communion dress hanging around? 

And don't all you Catholic girls wonder if this isn't a little bit sacreligious....well....don't you?

Don't worry- she doesn't really look or move like these pictures depict.....we practiced that....

Of course there are those times that I've wondered if I would ever wake up and find a child's face hovering over mine....with an axe in her grip......

Happy Halloween- must go to bed...and lock the door behind me:)

Monday, October 24, 2011

Halloween Hyjinks!

This is a re-post from 2 years ago.  I like to get the story out of the storage bin along with the rest of the Halloween decorations.  I thought I'd make it a tradition.  (Plus I am all out of clever things to blog about and way behind on grading homework!) 

One wonders, is the mean girl still lurking just outside the dressing room?

The mean 20 year old at the dressing rooms told me there was no flash photography allowed. So I promised not to use my flash. She then said "no pictures at all!" I said "Seriously?" You have got to be kidding!" Really, does she think I was going to run home and copy the super girl outfit on my sewing machine? Couldn't she tell by merely looking at me- that I am almost 40, that life has been very hard recently as I rush around trying to get two little girls off to different classrooms with different schedules and different events going on every freakin' day with different homework every freakin' night and that not only am I getting grey hairs and wrinkles but also still enjoying the fun of acne due to my raging hormones? And that the only thing on my ever rotating roster of things to do that has brought me any joy is the thought of how cute Kayla would be in a super girl costume but that I would have to take a picture to see it because there is no way they would choose not to be a princess or a fairy so if I want any memories at all I will have to lug in my big phalyx symbol of a camera into the store and snap a shot of the little tykes in the moment. But, no, in the land of twenty year olds, apparently my situation wasn't that obvious.

And she wasn't kidding, as I found out. I also found out that even if you hide in the dressing room and take a picture of the girls outside the dressing room- that cameras are loud when the flash goes off. And the light doesn't necessarily stay in the room. So imagine my chagrin as the 20 year old mean girl came to once again inform me that there was no flash photography and points at the sigh on the wall that you can clearly see in the picture. Then to justify herself and make me feel small, I imagine, she told me that she could get fired. WELL, I would hate to cut short her career at Halloween, USA even though it was October 15th that very day.

So there in is the story of how we came to purchase our Asian Princess Halloween costumes from Halloween USA. Because, even though every bone in my body wanted to take my little girls and my little wallet and walk out, I knew there was no explaining the universal code of wrong and right to a 5 1/2 and 7 year old and I also knew the only one who would be punished for leaving empty handed would be me.

See?  I was crazy long before now......

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Hello- its nice to meet you!

A lot of people are doing these cute posts- "Wordless Wednesdays" "Ten Random Things" etc....I thought I should do one.  But which one?  Hey- why not make up one of my own?  So I am going to do that- make up one of my own!

Because I have been gone so long and when I have been here I've only been talking about one thing....many different and clever ways but still- I sense you are bored with me. C'mon, admit it.. I won't be offended...I'm bored with me!

So I thought I'd remind you of while you follow me....not because I am so darn talented...not because I am so witty and clever..... but rather because you sense there is a little bit of crazy lurking around my corners....and you like it!

SEE the CRAZY?  Yeah, thought you did!

Here's my 10 things about me you are going to wish you didn't know!

1.  Rules.  I don't like them.  They make me itchy.  A little ornery.  Definitely oppositional.  REALLY?  I have to cross at the corner?  And when the light says so?  Hmmm.....  I think this opposition comes from the part wherein I'm a nice person, always have been but that hasn't made bad things not happen.  It hasn't made my life all sunshine and roses.  As a matter of fact I have almost always had rather a lot to accomplish with relatively little resources.  So if I have to cut a corner now and again, so be it.  Rules are relative to all things being equal.  All things are not equal.  Basically I promise not to steal, cheat, lie about people other than me (yes, I am 125lbs, I am) and commit mass murder and other than that I will try to use good judgement.  Try.

2.  I play tricks on people once in awhile.  I do.  I get frustrated when other people force their mental unbalances on me and make my life difficult.  For instance when I was in my twenties I worked side by side with a lady who had some strong opinions.  For whatever reason she became troubled with the idea that I would decide to become pregnant and leave her high and dry to run her shop all by herself.  This idea became the topic of many conversations that I was not present for but don't kid yourself- of course I found out about it.  How crazy was that?  The idea that I should or should not become pregnant in relation to the difficulty it might create in her life.  Let alone the part where I wasn't trying to become pregnant, thank you for asking-oh, that's right- it wasn't her was so wrong of her on so many levels that I decided to handle the situation my way.  I used her paranoia to create some fun.  I started mentioning 'an upset stomach this morning'.  I made doctors appointments from the store phone.  I made strange comments about what I wanted for lunch.  I don't remember how it ended- how I eventually wrapped it up but it was fun.

3.  I have my own weirdnesses, thank you.  I don't know if it qualifies as O.C.D. or some sort of anxiety disorder manifestation.  When I get overwhelmed and full of anxiety I focus that anxiety on my hair.

I don't usually believe in perfection.  I do however want my hair to be even.  If I have a lump or a bump I believe its due to an uneven length.  And I'm a designer.  That qualifies me to be a hair stylist right?  (designers have a belief that they can do anything) So I figure that if I find the uneven area and just trim it....ever so slightly.... fast forward an hour or sometimes two- later and you can imagine the problems.  Sometimes there's periods of this hair trimming over days at a time.  Let's just say that right hair is very, very short.  I'm OK after an emergency visit to a stylist to have it fixed.  Lately its been a Super Cuts stylist because A) they don't know me and B) they can get me in really fast.

4.  I'm a failure.  Everything I am good at makes me no money.    Really- someone tell me how to get off the hamster wheel and work less making more $$$$.  I know "its not all about the money"  but at some point I'd like to stop worrying that I'm going to be an OLD starving artist.  
5.  Good things about me-

I find the beauty in most everything and everyone.  You don't have to be society's current standard of beautiful.  Artists see the world differently.  Sometimes I just like the way a nose runs into a forehead or the creases a smile makes.  So don't waste your time telling me all the things you don't like about yourself- I don't see you the way you do.  I see you with my eyes.

6.  Here's some bad things I do- or don't do...
I way overbook myself.   I do.  There's consequences for that.  You can't do everything well all at once.  Your family gets mad at you.  You get mad at your family.  You make mistakes.  Only about 90% of what you try to do gets done and the other 10% keeps you up at night.
I am late in the morning.  Always have been.  Its preventable.  I think I just really don't like to start my day because I know its going to be Hell on wheels or I'm going somewhere I don't want to.  Don't kid yourself- being late is a control thing.  
I pay bills on my schedule not theirs.  Sorry.  Unfortunately this costs me money in late fees.  They all get paid but its on my timeline.  I guess if I didn't overbook myself I could get up early one morning of the month and take care of get the picture.
I don't exercise.  I don't have time.  I'm late.  If I do have time there are other things that need to be done- like paying bills.

7.  I say inappropriate things all the time.  Why?  Because if I find it funny I want to share.  Here's how I train the new warehouse guy...."Mike, I really like you so it will make me sad when I have to kill you for messing this up....let's try to avoid that."  Or...."For God's sake!  We're both really smart people!  So how do we keep screwing this up so badly?"
8.  I can't tolerate repeated noises.  Seriously- repeated noise negates everything else and must be addressed.  You could be the Pope but if you tap your fingernails on the table more than three times I will be forced to rip them from your fingers.  Then I will bandage them up with the utmost care and make you a lovely cup of tea to take your Vicodin with. 

9.  I have the ability to admit what I am not good at.  (Probably because there are plenty of things I am good at!) I no longer feel it is necessary to pretend to be good at driving.  I'm the girl who drove into a cornfield because I was admiring all the shades of orange in the winter sky when suddenly the road ended.  OOPS!

10. Oh that's right.  I don't like rules.  I know I titled it 10 things you didn't want to know about me but I'm going with the idea that you have already read way too much about me- your eyes have glazed over and there's a little trail of drool coming out of the corner of your mouth.  You'd care about that if you hadn't just poked your mind's eye out with what ever sharp instrument you put your hands on. 

Missed me, didn't you?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Every day heroes and the finish line!

I had to lead with this.  I won't be foisting too many more pictures of Art Prize on you unless I think that its so cool you really can't live a full and enlightened life if you haven't seen this artwork.  That's how I feel about this.  I wish I had more of this entry to share with you because its actually four dresses on mannequins and while this one was spectacular you deserve to see all of them.  This one seems very light and innocent while the others are darker- mysterious and maybe just a tad menacing?  Love this little walk on the dark side.

Back to me.  I know- I've not been there for you lately.  My life has been hi-jacked between A.P. and this year's parade of homes, in which my firm has two.  We are designers- we did not build these homes but they have our design print all over them.  The kitchens, the baths the built ins, wall colors, get the picture.  But when the deadline is approaching for parade everyone gets a little psycho.  Not me, so much, because I believe in having balance in your life.  Keeping perspective. I know what's really important.  Blah, blah- nobody cares what I think when they are in the midst of their own personal break down!  Its like a race that's gone bad and someone has yelled "Everyone for themselves!  Try to make it to the finish line- just don't get in my way."  It makes me want to change my profession.  Hmmm.....

How does this segway into 'Everyday Heroes' you ask?  As well you should, you sane and well balanced individual.  
Last Thursday morning I got the kids onto the bus, dressed myself, (no I didn't go down to the bus naked- I think) and made my vehicle go...
(Hey, Thursday mornings are that tough- I work from 9-9 the day before, I don't sleep anymore and I am faced with the thought of going into work one more time, same as last week- you get it, right?) my coffee place.  At which point I discovered I had lost the skill of conversation.  Thank God for every day heroes.  

It went like this.
"Hello, this is Sandy.  What can I get for you?"

My inner voice- Oh crap, a new girl. I can't just announce my arrival and expect my coffee to appear at the window.  I'll have to try to place my order on my own.

 "I'd like the au lait.  No, wait- its Thursday.  Which means I want the Michigan Cherry think you make it with half, that's the OH HELL!  I don't know how you make it...."

Suddenly- there was an interruption- the angels sang and trumpets bellowed- softly, mind you, and a golden light shone down.

"Chris!- Its OKAY."

"Its Tara, 
I'm here,
 I've got it."

Now that may not seem like much to you but if you'd have been'd have seen the whole picture. A zombie (me) driving a car, dressed, styled and made up, asked to complete a  simple task...escalating into something that can only be described as feverishly confused and viral.  And a drive through coffee server miraculously remaining cool, calm and collected- taking over the situation and talking the zombie out of the suicide jump.  They could make a sitcom episode out of that moment.

Needless to say by the time I got to the window,Tara and I were cracking up over our melodrama.  I feel badly for her though.  I think we both know- now, that she can never leave her post at the window.  She can never move on, never better her lot in life- she may as well quit going to college....because until my life changes....I need her right there.  At the coffee window.