Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Has it really come to this?

I'm 41 and sitting in my bed at night watching bad tv making mini birdcages out of wire and large buttons! I'm really starting to question this art thing! Its driving me crazy! Every time I have to "design" something in my head- so it can be "original" (damn standards I set for myself anyways) spend hours figuring it out- hours! It won't leave me alone!

My kid is greeting me at the door when I get home from work demanding to know why I haven't paid her hot lunch bill and now she'll only be allowed to eat a peanut butter sandwich and just one thing off the salad bar! I'm looking at her thinking- she's more in the real world than I am! Shh! honey, this is just another step in preparing you to be in charge of me, its all part of my plan...Shh... By the way, what does the kid do? Uses this as the opportunity to bring a cold lunch and makes her own self a pb&J.

Back to the birdcages- maybe its time to call it quits on the art stuff, I don't know. Am I just killing time here? Is there a way to make money at this? Am I daydreaming when I should be honing my skills so I can make more money as a designer? Truth be told I have been really burnt out on the design trade. Now I am feeling a little burnt out on the art trade, too. And dare I say it- teaching, which I usually love- well not even that sounds good right now.
I think I want to be somebody else right now. Perhaps..... a detective! That sounds like fun! I have sometimes wanted to be a vampire slayer, too and I am sure that is just as likely. Maybe, a ghost hunter! Oh yeah that's right- as I have told my friends when they ask if I believe in that stuff- real or not, if I Ever saw a ghost I would pee my pants so ghost hunting is out. And, more truth be told- I'm afraid of the dark- so ghost hunting and vampire slaying- not a good second career choice.

I recently had a stress test (hmmph, I say, if I'm not at work and my two kids aren't in the room- well I may as well just be out for a jog on vacation! Results came back just fine) and I was fascinated with the sonogram portion of it. I secretly wanted to take the microphone looking device and do my own sonogram. Lets take a look at those kidney's folks- according to all the tv shows they're somewhere around here! Seriously, it was awesome to see my heart on the screen, beating away, from all different angles. I had the thought- I could do this all day long. So maybe that's it. Sonogram technician. Probably safer than vampire slayer. Better health benefits, too, I imagine.

Oh yeah, bird cages. I think I will make one more, the next size smaller. Tell me if you think this whole birdcage on the head thing is goofy and I am making a mistake- would ya? I may have lost perspective............a long time ago, round about....well, what does it look like anyways?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Don't blow my cover!

The family thinks I am preparing for a meeting I have tomorrow. I don't think I can do that until I publish these pictures. I told you all that I would start two sculptures and they would decide which one got done first. This one is winning the race as I am at a standstill on the other one until I figure out/build it in my head- the whole birdcage in the hair thing.
I may have it though, I picked up some very thin wired ribbon at Michaels that I can fashion into hair and wind up and around the cage. I found the perfect size cage in the bead section of Michaels and decided that I would have to make my own. I don't mind including "found" objects in my work but.....I don't know, wanted it to be more me and less mass produced? I don't know where you draw the line there.
Anyhow, this sculpture is from a sketch I call "the source" based on the theory that we create our atmosphere and energy. This lady conveys a kinetic energy- her countenance looks as if it is seeking relief from the halo of frenzy around her. Speaking of found objects the hair is constructed of an artificial greenery that is made to look like the roots of a plant. Bingo, I said when I came across it. That's her hair, roots reaching downward and upwards, seeking, seeking.
That's what I mean by using found objects. I guess I thought using the prefab birdcage was to predictable, taking the easy way out and losing a further opportunity for expression. Settling. I don't want to settle in my art. I can settle on a used car and a less than botique-ish wardrobe, less than optimum physique, but I don't want to settle in an area where I set the limits and opportunities. Do you?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Second thoughts

I might just be giving myself permission to change horses in mid-stream. I might. Ms. cardboard cone lady keeps talking to me. She is supposed to be one thing but she's screaming at me that she's another. At first I just ignored her, cardboard shouldn't speak after all. People who admit to hearing cardboard talk get sent places with padded walls- quiet, kid free, places with medication readily available....
She is supposed to be "The Keeping's", a work about the physical items we keep from childhood on and how we use them to define ourselves, correctly or incorrectly. "But look at me" she says. "I have a really cool shape with my long thin cone body ending in tiny shoulders and topped by a head tilted upwards. I already have a message. You don't have to shape one to me, it's there. Please don't distort me."

OK, I hear ya. All last night I have wandered past you, wondering how I would do your hair, what is the right answer- windblown? No, not you, you are more careful, more kept. Who are you? It is Valentine's Day, are you the Queen of hearts? You are somewhat regal....

So it hasn't come to me yet, the hair, the costume, her message or purpose, whatever she is. I am growing fonder of the idea of a secret garden hidden by her skirt. Perhaps a tree that disappears into the forest with one branch extending outwards to show the tiniest nest with the tiniest eggs waiting to hatch. Maybe like ladies of long ago she will have a birdcage woven into her hair. Maybe she's about being born free and trapping ourselves into our image.....ooooh, dark....oooh, I like....

And that's how it begins.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Paper mache' for February!

But...never to be completely finished with my to do list....Here's the next one! I saw this done with a china doll back in the 90's. It was the kind of doll that creeped me out so badly that I could not even abide the thought of a future in which I created a doll of any kind. She was a patriotic matron waving a flag and her skirt opened to show another doll waving a flag. What? And, suprise, suprise, the name of the doll was "The Suprise". Well, that is all I am going to say because I strongly believe you should never belittle any one's art. More power to you, creepy confederate doll maker!
But I want to apply the idea in a paper mache format and while I want what's inside to relate to the overall I haven't decided quite how. I posed the question to my peanut gallery and they have had some good ideas. Perhaps her skirt will open to reveal a magical garden. I will leave out the fairies and angels, sorry KAYLA.
But why the rush to the next project you ask? Why not take a break and get your life in order? (WHY not get those art classes formatted- the ones you are supposed to teach at Navigator Artisans very soon?) (Or work on re-formatting the drafting class at Kendall?) (Or take my time spring cleaning the house before my guests come in April, or get trim painted before the new carpet is put in, or...)
Why, I am so glad you asked! I am going to be part of a gallery show in MAY! A consignment gallery in South Haven is having a show to celebrate women, spring, Motherhood, Mother Earth- all that jazz! The family and I were in South Haven for an overnight to get the hell out of our house and I forced them to walk up and down the streets looking for an art gallery to put my sculptures in this summer. I found only one but fell in love. When I had gotten up enough nerve I asked the woman I guessed to be an owner about consignment, showed her some pictures, and she wrote down her number, told me about the show and told me to call her this week. I calmly waited until Wednesday to call so as not to look like a stalker.
So looking at my sad little repertoire of work I thought I should at least get one more done. Six is a nice number. I am going to start two, though and whichever seems to take off that's the one I will concentrate on. Wish me luck! No wonder my kids are brats and I have high blood pressure!

Here she is!

So for all intents and purposes, she's DONE! What shall I call her? If you remember her story from a few posts back- well, I'm still debating the title. I think it may be "Awaiting Renaissance" but am not sure. I do not like the finish that I used and think I will use the matte spray all over her- before I would have used the matte on her face and body only. Not loving the way it makes the fabric or the base- the broken vessel- shiny. Speaking of broken vessel, that is what I called her when she was in the beginning stages. I want to put a positive spin on the work, thinking in terms of breaking down false beliefs and building anew on an honest foundation. I think the strongest tool in our personal arsenal is honesty. Honesty in self and honesty outwards.