Wednesday, December 30, 2009

More from "Wise Women" - enjoy!

This is a page from my new favorite book-Wise Women byJoyce Tenneson. I wanted to publish a page with the original post but my computer would not co-operate that day. The whole book is beautiful.

Am I crazy? Do I dare?

Am I crazy? I just think this "angel" my daughter brought home is the very coolest thing!

She's in first grade. She told me she didn't want to make the arms at the top so she just made presents. Well, I think I just may have to steal this idea from her art teacher! I am, maybe, if everything goes well, going to be teaching some art classes at a local gallery. Now I could just teach paper mache' and call it good but.... ya know.... there's just something else I think I want to do as well. A little something near and dear to my heart.

I don't think I have made it a secret that I am on this creative journey to let loose my inner artist. But did you get the part where I yearn to answer that age old question- "what is the meaning of life, but more specifically what is the meaning of my life?" "Why have all these 'things' - some horribly difficult- happened and how did they not destroy me? Sure, I may be crazy- in that cute, chic, ever so clever crazy way of mine but still- I'm here and functioning and even.... reaching for more than mere existence. I want. Yes, I want. I want meaning and I want proof that I matter and that I make a difference. I want answers. And chocolate.

Don't a lot of you want the same thing? I think so. I think women my age have come into a time where they understand that all that crap we used to worry about- friends, approval, men, approval, weight, looks, approval- is just crap. We've had that, we've lost that, we've gained it back-or not but either way it wasn't enough anyway. That approval or what ever you want to call it wasn't ever going to be 'enough'.

So what now? That's the question that I and a lot of my friends are facing up to. Well, I just may have some insight. Or maybe just questions. Or maybe, because I love my friends even the ones I don't know yet, I want to hash some of this out with them so I can be there to tell them- no matter what you aren't, what you are is good enough for me and I love you for it.

I wish to find some way (venue) to do this. HMMM....well, I can do art....maybe not as well as Leonardo or Michelangelo, but I think most women would be OK with my level of what's that called, anyways? Self discovery through art? err...sounds a little like masturbation...umm, I know- art therapy! Yeah! Oh, no degree or training- could be a disadvantage, what if someone comes to me with a serious problem and I prescribe a beer and a box of candy in front of a good movie and it doesn't solve the problem....OK, so ...what?

I want to offer and perhaps lead (gulp) a class that helps women identify themselves in a more positive light. I want to inspire women to reach out in new directions. I want to inspire women to reach out to other women and bring them 'up'.

I don't know what to call it but this little angel that my little angel brought to me has me intrigued and I just know there's a project/lesson in there. I'm thinkin' the student creates their own angel that represents themselves- what they believe in, what makes them who they are and why or how, what they aspire to, etc. And, just like Brooke's angel is imperfect theirs could be as well. Then, they take it home, put it in a place they'll see it and let it remind them of who they are and who they want to be. And the world is a better place because of it.

Soooo, my brain is working on this angel project. Its a long way away from completion. I would love your comments and thoughts to help me along....

Sunday, December 27, 2009

This is my new book. It is filled with gorgeous photographs of beautiful women. I think it may just be my new source for artful inspiration. I have been creating (mostly in my mind and then as concept sketches- oh why do I have to work?) mixed media clay and paper mache sculptures of ladies for about a year now. Maybe my next one will have grey hair and some wrinkles. What do you think?
What is it with me and old ladies? It is that I hope to be one one day? Is it that I am torn between my old soul and my inner tantrum throwing inner child? Right now I am hero-worshiping Sharon Tomlinson from the blog "all Nora's art". I want to be her- creating art in her studio almost every day..... ahhh... fabulous.....and her talent for creating these intriguing women....go see her at
I will continue on my struggle with my alter egos!

"Always" and "Never"

I vow to wear nothing but pig-tails and pajamas- Always!

I am not quite sure who to site for the following material but I take my best guess as Daniel Goleman who authored the book Emotional Intelligence. I found it as part of another compilation of material.

There are two words which the emotionally intelligent should excise from their vocabulary because they are dangerous, destructive lies. They are "never" and "always". No one is "always" or "never" anything. People have irritating habits, destructive vices, bad traits which surface from time to time, prejudices founded on ignorance, but they are people, not monsters, for all that. "Always" and "never" turn criticisms: "That is a thoughtless act" into insults - "You are always thoughtless"; and insults , because they cannot be answered with reason, are nothing short of violence, which breeds violence in its turn. "Always" and "never" do violence to the person who thinks and speaks such nonsense, because in time, he or she begins to believe it, and his or her head becomes crowded with mythological monsters .

Why I felt this was blog material is- well because-its my blog. I must take every opportunity to remind myself of lessons learned. I am very forgetful and while I try to be the best self I can I easily slip into what I could call "darkness and angst". If we, and believe me-I do try, live in the "light of the truth" then life should be relatively calm and free of angst. I do try to be honest with myself and the best way to do this is by keeping things simple. Truth is simple. Truth can never be more or less than truth. In that essence it will never let you down. You can screw things up by putting your own slant on the truth but that is you. Nope, truth will not lead you down a path of misconception. It actually won't lead you anywhere- it can't. But seeing and knowing the truth gives you the ability to make appropriate decisions, have appropriate reactions, have appropriate attitudes. I believe that you can't get anywhere emotionally in life if you are not starting from a point of honesty with yourself.

Does that make me a perfectly happy person? Absolutely not! Why, I would never insinuate such a lofty ideal! I always present myself exactly as I am! Honest, I do, I wouldn't lie about it!

"Always" is a lie. "Never" is a lie.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Check out these weirdos!

Get a load of these two! You know how sometimes- well maybe you don't- you have an idea in your head that won't leave you alone??? I've had projects like this before... the end result not at all like that germ of an idea in your head, many the times you thought "eh, I should scrap this and start over! " But you can't stop and before long things are so far along that all you can do is try to find a point when you can call it done and walk away. Sounds like a love story gone wrong. Or a relationship with Tiger Woods. Sorry. Talk 'bout mucking things up! Oh wait, I would never have a relationship with Tiger Woods because he's married! And so am I! Is it really that hard people? Right and wrong, they are simple concepts- if you can keep them from getting mucked up!

Man, these guys remind me of of the baby nursery fiasco that I had to be talked down from. Chinamommy knows, she was there that long 3 or 4 months that I walked around our carpet store pretending to work but really was possessed with the need to create the perfect and I mean perfect nursery. I was sure it would include the colors pink and orange and green and yellow. I shopped all the stores. I wanted fun flowers and friendly bugs.
Now I suppose as a designer I should have gone for shabby chic toille. Tone on tone cream and soft faded pink. Nope, I wanted color, and not just any color but pink, and orange and yellow and green. Maybe I wanted some jungle animals, too. I had the cutest yellow giraffe and felt pretty strongly he needed to be included.
Actually I felt pretty strongly everything needed to be included- flowers and bugs and jungle animals and the colors- pink, orange, green and yellow. I hunted for the perfect fabric that would include those colors and found it after many trips. I went to every store I could travel to and back from during my lunch hours. Came up with some pretty believable reasons as to why I was late coming back, yet again! Joanne's Fabrics had a cotton seersucker with hot pink, light pink, yellow and orange flowers on it. I made curtains that were pink with yellow trim. When I say I made the curtains it really means I bought sheers, tried to dye them darker, poly does not take dye so that was a waste of my energy, and added yellow ties to them. I made a cover for the changing station that had yellow ric rac sewn in a diamond pattern over soft pink fleece outlined with a dark pink fabric and trimmed in the afore mentioned fabric that had flowers in two shades of pink, yellow and orange with of course green leaves. This may seem ordinary that a pregnant woman would sew some pieces together but you have to understand that me operating a sewing machine is like-me trying to slow a run away train by riding atop of it and yelling "STOP!" I made that sewing happen by sheer will power and grit. It was not pretty but, again, I was a woman possessed.
Did I mention that I painted the room twice or more because I wanted the softest shade of butter yellow but ended up with school bus yellow? That I bought white bread baskets and screwed them to the walls above the changing station to hold diapers and lotions? Of course they were lined with the appropriate fabric. That I didn't like the flowers on the comforter I bought so I painted them with craft paint which held up in washing but was never particularly soft? Yes, this project had some cute aspects when it was all finished but to this day I can remember the look on my friends face when she tried reel me back the way you tell a person maybe they have a problem with the bottle....ready to take a quick step backwards if needed.... yeah, go ask Chinamommy about that....I should see if I have some pictures of that room....

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Why is it?

Why is it that when someone says to me
"Do you want to....?" I say yes. Have since I was just a wee thing. Unfortunately I had a tendency to say yes to all the naughty things as well as the not so naughty things.
But why is it that when some says to me
"You should......"
My first response is "Really? I should?....with a raised eyebrow and absolutely no intention of doing "that" unless I already was doing "that" because, of course I was smart enough to know that already, Thank you very much.
And if someone wants my full and immediate attention all they have to say is
"Have you ever...?"
Everything else stops in my world until I check my internal log of all the things I have ever done and then the sublist of all the things there are actually witnesses to and if no witnesses exist whether or not I want to admit to having done the "thing". Also, if the answer is no, I will need a moment to process whether or not I want to do the "thing" so forgive me if there seems to be an awkward pause while I stare unblinkingly at you-I am not seeing you but rather every and all possible consequences of doing the "thing". It is, indeed, sometimes painful to be me and I imagine sometimes painful to know me.

Now, if someone says to me
"You know you want to!" the statement will illicit a giggle. Even if I never wanted to do the "thing" I am rendered helpless at the thought of doing the "thing" because somehow I just know I shouldn't and so of course I just might and that makes me giggle behind my hand that flew up to catch- but didn't- the giggle.

Once in awhile this very annoying person in my life likes to say-
"Well, you wouldn't know this but...."
Which makes the hair on my neck stand up because how in the hell would you know what I do or don't know? Have you seen a televised version of my life? I've been places, I've seen all kinds of things you don't know about, done that and been there, lady! Take it from me folks, starting sentences with phrases like that will not endear you to many. Can you imagine answering that statement? "You are so right, of course I don't know that until you, Goddess of All Knowledge, tell me that, thus enriching my lowly life" Yeah? Puke! Arrgh!

Here's the short list of my responses to all opening statements- these are involuntary to me they just happen.

"Can you......?" "Well of course I can but it doesn't mean I will!"
"Will you ......?" "For God's sake what do you want from me, now?"
"Can I........ ?" "NO!"
"Can I Please.......?" "Didn't I just say NO!!!???"
"What if....?" " Well, I don't know! What do I look like the answer queen? Figure it out already, I'm burning dinner!"
"Can I sometime....?" "Uh, Uh, the answer is still NO!"
"You know you want to......? " "****giggle****"
"Do you think........?" "Are you really asking me or just sucking up to make me think you actually care what I think? I wasn't born yesterday- as you keep reminding me!"

Now that I have explained all that to you-
Any questions????

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Update on "done by Christmas?"

Here they are! So far! And may I say I have so much to learn about painting faces? It shouldn't take soooo many tries- right? I should be able to get it done in one attempt? right? Not the case here! Anyhow I can live with these faces although they are nothing like I intended. I have to live with them- my room is not quite ready at the insane asylum yet- I requested a lighter shade of pink on the padded walls to contrast better with the lovely aquamarine I designated for the floor.
Can you see the writing? I have to make the image resolution smaller to get these to post- darn dial up internet! They are quotes from my writings or random thoughts I have had in regards to those little girls of mine. Nick-names have been included for posterity- sorry girls! The blond doll has a charm in her hair that says "angel" and the brunette will have one as well. My intention was to include several charms and some very old beads that lived in my mother's attic for much of my child hood. As that involves unearthing them from storage it may or may not happen.
The top photo is a craft project for my niece Mackenzie. She is the same age as my girls, cousin to Brooke. She lives on the other side of town and misses her cousins terribly. The idea here is that now she can sleep with her cousins every night. That's right- it's a pillow case. I used an iron- on transfer picture of the girls- inserted a picture of Mac in the middle. I did some writing and the girls added drawings and messages. We intend to fill this up with all kinds of drawings, messages, doodles- what ever! This is one of those projects that can't go wrong- its for a kid- created by kids. Fairly inexpensive, too!
Ok, have to go now. Hubbie has invited friends over and is furiously cleaning the main level. He thinks I'm down here cleaning, too!
Have a great weekend!