Because I have been gone so long and when I have been here I've only been talking about one thing....many different and clever ways but still- I sense you are bored with me. C'mon, admit it.. I won't be offended...I'm bored with me!
So I thought I'd remind you of while you follow me....not because I am so darn talented...not because I am so witty and clever..... but rather because you sense there is a little bit of crazy lurking around my corners....and you like it!
SEE the CRAZY? Yeah, thought you did!
Here's my 10 things about me you are going to wish you didn't know!
1. Rules. I don't like them. They make me itchy. A little ornery. Definitely oppositional. REALLY? I have to cross at the corner? And when the light says so? Hmmm..... I think this opposition comes from the part wherein I'm a nice person, always have been but that hasn't made bad things not happen. It hasn't made my life all sunshine and roses. As a matter of fact I have almost always had rather a lot to accomplish with relatively little resources. So if I have to cut a corner now and again, so be it. Rules are relative to all things being equal. All things are not equal. Basically I promise not to steal, cheat, lie about people other than me (yes, I am 125lbs, I am) and commit mass murder and other than that I will try to use good judgement. Try.
3. I have my own weirdnesses, thank you. I don't know if it qualifies as O.C.D. or some sort of anxiety disorder manifestation. When I get overwhelmed and full of anxiety I focus that anxiety on my hair.
I don't usually believe in perfection. I do however want my hair to be even. If I have a lump or a bump I believe its due to an uneven length. And I'm a designer. That qualifies me to be a hair stylist right? (designers have a belief that they can do anything) So I figure that if I find the uneven area and just trim it....ever so slightly.... fast forward an hour or sometimes two- later and you can imagine the problems. Sometimes there's periods of this hair trimming over days at a time. Let's just say that right now....my hair is very, very short. I'm OK after an emergency visit to a stylist to have it fixed. Lately its been a Super Cuts stylist because A) they don't know me and B) they can get me in really fast.
4. I'm a failure. Everything I am good at makes me no money. Really- someone tell me how to get off the hamster wheel and work less making more $$$$. I know "its not all about the money" but at some point I'd like to stop worrying that I'm going to be an OLD starving artist.
5. Good things about me-
I find the beauty in most everything and everyone. You don't have to be society's current standard of beautiful. Artists see the world differently. Sometimes I just like the way a nose runs into a forehead or the creases a smile makes. So don't waste your time telling me all the things you don't like about yourself- I don't see you the way you do. I see you with my eyes.
6. Here's some bad things I do- or don't do...
I way overbook myself. I do. There's consequences for that. You can't do everything well all at once. Your family gets mad at you. You get mad at your family. You make mistakes. Only about 90% of what you try to do gets done and the other 10% keeps you up at night.
I am late in the morning. Always have been. Its preventable. I think I just really don't like to start my day because I know its going to be Hell on wheels or I'm going somewhere I don't want to. Don't kid yourself- being late is a control thing.
I pay bills on my schedule not theirs. Sorry. Unfortunately this costs me money in late fees. They all get paid but its on my timeline. I guess if I didn't overbook myself I could get up early one morning of the month and take care of this...you get the picture.
I don't exercise. I don't have time. I'm late. If I do have time there are other things that need to be done- like paying bills.
7. I say inappropriate things all the time. Why? Because if I find it funny I want to share. Here's how I train the new warehouse guy...."Mike, I really like you so it will make me sad when I have to kill you for messing this up....let's try to avoid that." Or...."For God's sake! We're both really smart people! So how do we keep screwing this up so badly?"
8. I can't tolerate repeated noises. Seriously- repeated noise negates everything else and must be addressed. You could be the Pope but if you tap your fingernails on the table more than three times I will be forced to rip them from your fingers. Then I will bandage them up with the utmost care and make you a lovely cup of tea to take your Vicodin with.
9. I have the ability to admit what I am not good at. (Probably because there are plenty of things I am good at!) I no longer feel it is necessary to pretend to be good at driving. I'm the girl who drove into a cornfield because I was admiring all the shades of orange in the winter sky when suddenly the road ended. OOPS!
10. Oh that's right. I don't like rules. I know I titled it 10 things you didn't want to know about me but I'm going with the idea that you have already read way too much about me- your eyes have glazed over and there's a little trail of drool coming out of the corner of your mouth. You'd care about that if you hadn't just poked your mind's eye out with what ever sharp instrument you put your hands on.
Missed me, didn't you?