You know I miss you all in blogger land.
I'm a little behind in my Christmas preparations so I can't spend much time with you. (Yes, I know- I look very old and my hair is very short. Read back a few posts to understand my problem with anxiety and hair cutting.)
But its that time of year where "pleasers" like myself feel obligated to not just "make people happy" but to make them "over the moon in joyous rapture" at their gift.
See Exhibit (A) below.
Yes, that is Chinamommy.
Now see Exhibit (B) below.
Eeesshh! Wowsza! She couldn't even fake liking her Pareo. (That's a fancy name for scarf big enough to wrap yourself in.)
"Why don't you like it?" I whined? "Its a very popular color scheme! See?"
See? Even major industries approve of this attention grabbing color scheme.
And speaking of attention grabbing...That yellow is a safety feature built right in! See? The very same shade is used to mark dangerous curbs so people don't trip right into oncoming traffic! And to guide you into the nearest gas station when you need to fuel up.
Well, Christmas Children everywhere, it was a bad deal. No sale. So, to save you the dis-appointment of being the "BAD gift giver" I have decided to offer up some suggestions for gift ideas.
I'd like to start with the "Forever Lazy" Jumpsuit. Its warm and snuggly. Its for grown ups. You don't even have to take it off to go potty 'cuz there are places that unbutton for things like that. You can go anywhere in this little outfit. Like the nearest "All You Can Eat" buffet.
Next- here's the very next "As seen on TV" invention- be the first to own one-
THE HILLBILLY CORK SCREW
(And yes, that is Kristi, from Cheeky Green Designs)
Cuz, sometimes, you have to get that bottle open, no matter what.....
This handy device comes in several stages of decomposition- from slightly rust to very rusty to covered in grease and oil. Trust me, standards ARE flexible when necessary.
If you don't like those choices or your recipient is male consider this.....
Or....a favorite every year.....SPAM Sandwiches!!!