Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I'm 41 and sitting in my bed at night watching bad tv making mini birdcages out of wire and large buttons! I'm really starting to question this art thing! Its driving me crazy! Every time I have to "design" something in my head- so it can be "original" (damn standards I set for myself anyways) spend hours figuring it out- hours! It won't leave me alone!
My kid is greeting me at the door when I get home from work demanding to know why I haven't paid her hot lunch bill and now she'll only be allowed to eat a peanut butter sandwich and just one thing off the salad bar! I'm looking at her thinking- she's more in the real world than I am! Shh! honey, this is just another step in preparing you to be in charge of me, its all part of my plan...Shh... By the way, what does the kid do? Uses this as the opportunity to bring a cold lunch and makes her own self a pb&J.
Back to the birdcages- maybe its time to call it quits on the art stuff, I don't know. Am I just killing time here? Is there a way to make money at this? Am I daydreaming when I should be honing my skills so I can make more money as a designer? Truth be told I have been really burnt out on the design trade. Now I am feeling a little burnt out on the art trade, too. And dare I say it- teaching, which I usually love- well not even that sounds good right now.
I think I want to be somebody else right now. Perhaps..... a detective! That sounds like fun! I have sometimes wanted to be a vampire slayer, too and I am sure that is just as likely. Maybe, a ghost hunter! Oh yeah that's right- as I have told my friends when they ask if I believe in that stuff- real or not, if I Ever saw a ghost I would pee my pants so ghost hunting is out. And, more truth be told- I'm afraid of the dark- so ghost hunting and vampire slaying- not a good second career choice.
I recently had a stress test (hmmph, I say, if I'm not at work and my two kids aren't in the room- well I may as well just be out for a jog on vacation! Results came back just fine) and I was fascinated with the sonogram portion of it. I secretly wanted to take the microphone looking device and do my own sonogram. Lets take a look at those kidney's folks- according to all the tv shows they're somewhere around here! Seriously, it was awesome to see my heart on the screen, beating away, from all different angles. I had the thought- I could do this all day long. So maybe that's it. Sonogram technician. Probably safer than vampire slayer. Better health benefits, too, I imagine.
Oh yeah, bird cages. I think I will make one more, the next size smaller. Tell me if you think this whole birdcage on the head thing is goofy and I am making a mistake- would ya? I may have lost perspective............a long time ago, round about....well, what does it look like anyways?