Unusual Girl Studios

I recently made mention in an e-mail of our deceased puppy named Bailey. I was quoting my very prolific husband who always feels the need to sum up Bailey's personality by saying "dogs like that don't come along every day, she was a good dog!" Usually I take the time to point out that for the first two years of her life I seriously wondered if she was insane. I used to call her jaws on a stick, thinking of those wind up dinosaur heads on a stick that you could buy for 50 cents a couple of decades ago. Which, in turn, always makes me think of those creepy- claw hand- back scratchers you could also buy but never would because they made you think of your Grandpa, not the nice one, but the mean one who yelled at you and your brother so badly when you busted in on him in the bathroom that one time. Everybody has one of those Grandpa's don't they? Yep, Mark always says that about Bailey, (our second dog) who loved him faithfully but came to me when she wa...

To my co-worker: I know, I know, don't think I don't!!!! I know when I have behaved badly- freaking out like some wack job but I'd like to point out a few things in my defense. Hellllooooo ! I'm havin a visit from Auntie Flo, Ok ? Yesterday I thought my head was going to fall off my neck at 5:00 fffing am. I thought perhaps Mark had finally buried an axe in my brain but I couldn't see it cuz , well, things don't work the same way when there's an axe in your brain. Somehow, I dragged myself off the bed and made scrambled eggs because I know there's protein and relatively little flavor. Literally I sat on the sofa for 20 minutes and manged three bites. That was at 7:00 a.m. Amazingly - by only ten after 9:00 I had conquered nausea and was able to walk through the door at Gallery - amazingly - by merely putting one foot after the other. Let me just say, though, driving skills are compromised when you have an axe in your brain. I managed to draft most...

Dear Children: Due to the present economic and socio-economic situation I have been forced to re-evaluate my present position. Rising costs and time demand necessitate the need for an immediate restructuring of our family dynamic. Starting immediately my rates as "mother" have gone up to 100,000.00 per day with a ten dollar surcharge for every ten minutes served after 9:00 pm or before 7:00 am. This charge will be drafted directly from your allowance. If you do not currently receive an allowance a record of all charges will be archived until such time as you earn a wage. Also, be aware the following services have been deleted- 1. Deciphering words from whine. (Please note the spelling as wine is still included in my daily routine.) 2. Repacking lunches to include a source of protein, fiber and something, just one damn thing that is green. 3. All Social Secretary functions have been suspended until further notice. Thank you for your attention, Mommy I SAID THANK YOU FOR YOUR A...

Today one of my very best friends announced she had won a prestigious award. An award highly coveted by many of the people who follow the blog- byebyepie. I have been to this blog. It is addictive. The mind behind this genius- a somewhat zany, kinda scary woman who I took to right away. "She's crazy!" I thought. "I like her!" Well, she was introduced to me by my friend Chinamommy who also has her own blog which is very funny as well. Yes, Chinamommy won the award of "cleverest comment of the week" for her comment she posted to byebyepie's blog regarding the lovely scent of lilacs and her associated memories. Yep. HMMM. Well....Yeah. Nice. Guess what award I should win!?! For my recent adventures as mom ...... yeah, you get it...where am I going with this? Of course my story involves Kayla. Now if you have ever doubted Karma- don't. Kayla is my consequence for that summer I spent sneaking out at night to run the town with my friends. Kayla is my...

Ingredients for a blissful morning I was right to refuse a 9:00 appointment with Margie Fuller. Here are my recommended ingredients for soothing start to the day. Just when you thought I could never be calm or balanced again...you see, it really isn't me- it's my life! Oh, oops, sorry, no more whining. Ingredients; Several cups of coffee consumed on your deck on a warm sunny morning. Close all windows and doors to the house that let out the sound of your children or Spongebob. Listen to the sound of the breeze and the various birds. Read a little, write a little. Here's what I wrote- With first an explanation; I have been trying to concentrate on "boys" a little. My artwork and writing is always girls. I don't really like boys. They are loud and clumsy and destroy things for fun, then they turn into men. But I am trying to "like" them better. For so long I have concentrated on the things I don't like about my husband. Now I am trying to appreciat...

My husband has a cold. He doesn't know it but I do because it's the same ornery cold I had last week that involves a killer headache and over the top- orneriness. I didn't tell him because apparently it's a bad thing if you catch a cold and pass along the virus- after all, one should be able to control these things. If I hear, one more time in my life, "I've caught YOUR cold " in an accusatory tone- well, it will just be one time, too many. If nothing else, my husband has mastered the fine art of blame, passed on from generations of polish people before him. So I didn't tell him that he may be just a little extra ornery for the next five days. That he should take a tylenol and shut himself away in a room away from innocent bystanders. Nope. Didn't tell him. So I suppose this really is my fault? Probably. Don't care. After he decided to insult me in five different ways within the first hour of our joyous daily reunion, I removed myself from his ...

Hey! I have been way too busy communing with my inner artist to notice all the wackiness the world has to offer lately. Ok, that's a lie, but I have been too busy to write it down. And, then there is the issue with my computer at home. The modem in my computer claims to be in use by another device. What device??? The blender? I don't know and used up all the minutes on my cell phone speaking with "kevin" trying to fix it at 1.95 a minute. Was it rude of me to tell him to quit with the social niceties and get down to business? He's asking how I am- I'm answering that I'm fine and so is my little dog and the meter is clicking away... shut up, Habib and fix my computer! But we ran out of time so here I sit at work typing away. And, with a memory like mine, well let's just say if it doesn't get written down while the thought is rolling around in my head- picture a funnel attached to the end of a slide- the thought rolls right out my ear, or ...