Four Days. F-O-U-R.
I am experiencing a "letting go" ness with the sculpture. I know that she is done. Well, she has to be, I'm out of time. But a calm secure feeling of "she's done, really- she is and its time to just add some finishing touches." No more changes, no color additions or re-painting. She's done.
This has been quite the journey- some where in the doodles came a concept. The concept intrigued me- could I do this? This amount of difficulty and detail, not to mention the size of it? Somewhere along the way another question was answered and then a realization of the question itself. Could I do this and by doing so consider myself, finally, an artist? Was it a test? Not really. More of a struggle between my intrinsic self doubt and a conflicting whisper of a belief that yes, I already was an artist so being was just a matter of transition- transition of belief over doubt.
But the proof stands before me waiting for me to believe. And, while I know I believe its a huge jump from wanting to be (a real grown up artist!!!) and actually being one. What are the expectations of one after they become an artist (let themselves be an artist)???? Will I be harshly disappointed with the reality of being an artist or will my heart sing like I think it just might? Hmmmm....its scary and delicious all at once.
I am experiencing a "letting go" ness with the sculpture. I know that she is done. Well, she has to be, I'm out of time. But a calm secure feeling of "she's done, really- she is and its time to just add some finishing touches." No more changes, no color additions or re-painting. She's done.
This has been quite the journey- some where in the doodles came a concept. The concept intrigued me- could I do this? This amount of difficulty and detail, not to mention the size of it? Somewhere along the way another question was answered and then a realization of the question itself. Could I do this and by doing so consider myself, finally, an artist? Was it a test? Not really. More of a struggle between my intrinsic self doubt and a conflicting whisper of a belief that yes, I already was an artist so being was just a matter of transition- transition of belief over doubt.
But the proof stands before me waiting for me to believe. And, while I know I believe its a huge jump from wanting to be (a real grown up artist!!!) and actually being one. What are the expectations of one after they become an artist (let themselves be an artist)???? Will I be harshly disappointed with the reality of being an artist or will my heart sing like I think it just might? Hmmmm....its scary and delicious all at once.
Oh girl, i've known you were an artist since the moment i met you... well, maybe not the moment, but within days surely! Ok, Kristi and i are thinking of going down opening day...are you going to be able to be there? have your people call my people!
ReplyDeleteSO proud of you!!
love you,
twin
Crikey ... you've gone from 'scrubbing bubbles' to 'being an artist' in the blink of an eye! What a varied blog! You are of course an artist - its all about self belief!
ReplyDeleteI just love people that say "Crikey"- you can't do that in America, we just aren't that cool!
ReplyDelete