Sunday, November 27, 2011

Meet Headless Amy

Warning!!!!  There is some uncomfortable nudity in this post.  Let me temper that with the fact that most nudity is uncomfortable for me. 
(Hey- I won't look at your parts if you promise not to look at mine.  Well, actually- even if you do happen to inadvertently see something of mine I am still going to try like Hell not to see anything of yours.) 

So what is this oddity below?  Why is there a creepy head in a creepy cage?  And why share that?  Because that's me.  I share. 

Headless Amy came about in protest to the unfairness of my children being able to play with dolls that look like friendly and fashionable monsters.  If you haven't heard of Monster High Dolls just means you don't have kids in the 8-11 age group.  I find them hilarious.  I hated those slutty Bratz dolls.  Thanks, people for sending my girls the message that "hot" means barely dressed.  It really conflicted with my message that hot means don't touch the stove. 

Monster High dolls are not particularly more covered by appropriate clothing but they also do not look like creatures you are likely to run into in school tomorrow.  (Duh, they have their own school!)  Plus, they sport monikers like 'Cleo Denial" and Frankie Stein (every school needs a good Jewish family) and Dracu Laura and Ghoulia Yelps and my daughter's favorite- Clawdeen Wolf.  I'm sold! 

Monster High Frankie Stein Doll

Monster High Dawn of the Dance Clawdeen Wolf Doll

But...I'm also too old for Barbies, undead or otherwise.  "Fine!  I exclaimed as we were cleaning one day.  I'll take this one!"  And I grabbed the dollar store Barbie that had been missing a head for awhile.  "Mom!" they stated incredulously "That's a Barbie Doll!"  "No, its Headless Amy and she'd be happy if you remembered to use her name!"

So this is where I begin with Headless Amy.  She did need a head.  How else would she see where she was going.  But not having her eyes in the same location as the rest of her has led to some unfortunate incidents.  Amy is a resourceful soul and quite determined to carry on with her day.  So when she lost her foot (that's a story for another post) well, she just took stock of her belongins' and came up with a foot of a different kind.  That accident with her arm might have been avoided...but it wasn't.  A sewing kit and a few other odds and ends kept in the junk drawer fixed that right up.  You get the picture.   

Amy is nothing if not fashion conscious as well.  Its a lot though, getting through those every day to do lists and looking pretty.  Sometimes a girl just has to grit her teeth, put on her big girl panties and just keep moving forward.  Do you think she realized she's not wearing any panties today????  She'll have some soon.  And, so now you have met...Headless Amy.  A bit of a departure from my last project!


Oh, and these......well, let's just say I earned them.  If I hear the jingling of sleigh bells  ...I'll know its the U.P.S. man bringing me my shoes.


  1. When she finally gets her "big girl Panties" will they be Hot or Granny like?

  2. as you can imagine, my girl doesn't like the monster dolls... or any other dolls sadly :(

  3. Hey? Where's the picture of my shoes???? And Gina- they are HOT.


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