Friday, February 3, 2012

Reality TV makes me want to....

Move to California and learn to be a special effects make-up artist!  Me and the fam are totally hooked on Face OFF!  Not surprising considering the correlation between the sculpting techniques they use and my artistic direction!

Trade Spouses!  No, not really- yuck. Hows 'bout, instead I....

Help jailbirds rescue pit bulls!  Can I do it from a -far away- separate room, though?  I don't really want to interact with criminals.  People who haven't been incarcerated are difficult enough let alone those clingy, needy, citizens silly enough to get caught.  By the way- I'm the girl with the cool hair!  By the way, that show is called Pit Bulls and Parolees.  I think those ladies are pretty safe from both the pit bulls and the parolees!

Open up a pawn shop, put on 50 pounds and start wearing cut off t-shirts and hoodies.  Hey!  Looks like there's good money in it!


Hunt Ghosts and other spooky creatures!  Except for that darn- scared of the dark- phobia wherein I can envision myself peeing my pants and jumping in the reluctant arms of a camera man at the slightest netherworldly moan or groan!


Make sculptures out of cake and embrace my inner Italian!  Except that the closest I come to Italian is my uncle by marriage!  Still- who wouldn't want to make a cake that looks and moves like a dinosaur!  Yes, I know, this one is some kind of two headed dragon!


Help Hoarders clean out their house!  Oh, wait- did that!  When I got my parents house ready to sell I filled two twenty five foot dumpsters.  Seriously, I lost 15 pounds of baby weight and the house stood three feet taller.
My parents house didn't quite look like this- holy cow!




Now, I'd really like to help people with their weight loss like on The Biggest Loser but honestly I just don't think I am the best person for that job.  I like food, hate exercising and once caused a friend to have an asthmatic attack by leaving a marker on her desk with a note that said "Smell this, You know you want to!!!"     In my defense that's when I first realized she was asthmatic.... as she started to make this strange gasping noise and was thrashing around for her purse...where she kept her inhaler.  Chalk that up to a lesson learned!  No, I don't think I am suitable to guide people who have gone astray back onto a good path.

Yes, reality TV and a cushy chair have taken control of me- I am at their mercy.  I am working on a commissioned project.  Its a hard one.  Why?  Because I don't know how to do anything in a way that would be easy, convenient or time efficient.  Always challenging myself to do something new and unique may just be getting the best of me.  My deadline is March 1st and I am afraid I won't make it.  A bathroom re-model isn't getting me any further along on the art project either.

So, all in all things in my life are the same as always- out of control, unorganized and inefficient!  Ahh, life is good!

5 comments:

  1. By the way- Headless Amy likes reality TV, also!

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  2. From the title of your post, I thought you were going to say that reality TV makes you want to vomit. Hee! Hee! You fooled me.

    I'd love to learn how to decorate cakes, but time is just not on my side. I always liked watching Duff from Charm City Cakes in Baltimore.

    Celebrity Apprentice is my favorite reality show.

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  3. I wish I had cable because I would LOVE to see Face Off!!!

    xoxo

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  4. Omgosh Love it! I am addicted to Hoarders Makes me want to clean my house! And speaking of parents I did the same thing with mine! They lived in the same house for over 30 years and my dad had everything including 2 kitchen sinks! lol I know what you went through!

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  5. Hi, Christine
    At least all of my 'Hoarding' stuff is in boxes and it is all art and craft related...publications, lace, fabric, sculpting products, more fabric, more altered art stuff. Life does get crazy but it sure is fun!
    Wow..and what a collage you are making for that man in honor of his mother. Being sick is the pits, and then you have to catch up on house work on top of it! Not fun!
    You are brave to take on such a commission. I would be pulling my hair out by now! Ha!
    Just breath deep...it will all come together.
    Oh, and when my issue of ADQ comes I will be sure and see your creation on page 82.
    Congrats for being published!
    I can't even finish the 'challenges' in Cloth and Clay doll ning!
    Have a great week!
    Teresa in CA

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