Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Asians want my eyebrows!

Remember on Grey's Anatomy when Christina was preparing to marry Burke? Burke's mother was a force to be reckoned with and used to getting her way. The episode showed a short snippet of her entering the room to have a traditional mother in law/daughter in law chat before the wedding and the next scene was Merideth entering the room to a bedraggled Christina who looked up and plaintively said "Momma took my eyebrows."

I've only ever had three pedicures. The last one was this past week. There was a wedding. I have a weird toe and the heels of a dragon. It was necessary even though I always thought that manicures and pedicures were for women of money and would never pay to have someone else do my grooming because I wasn't rich yet. Well, I'm starting to think the whole "rich" or "comfortably well off" may never happen. So, even though its not the fiscally responsable choice I decided to break the seal and have someone else scrape years of waiting for wealth off the bottom of my feet.

The first time I had my feet done was also for a wedding. When the woman asked me what the occasion was and I told her she looked at my face and screamed at me "You wanna a wax brow?"

People who know me know I have a fear of the Asians. I always think they are yelling at me and I don't want to do anything to offend anyone, least of all someone of a different nationality. Put that with being raised by a 1960's repressed Catholic housewife- sometimes, just sometimes I am intimidated in social situations. Like in the presence of someone I can't understand, who screams what sounds like a command at me but ends the sentence with a question. I am totally befuddled. I just want them to like me. I want to be the ambassador of good relations. I just want everyone to love everyone else.

But you can't have my eyebrows. I have, cross that out, had, beautiful eyebrows. Now my daughter has them and I have wimpy, thinning eyebrows with a fairly nice shape and a bald spot on one. So you can't have what's left of them. NO.

I said No. She said, "you want we make them nice, we clean them up". I noticed that hers were drawn on with a sharpie marker. "MMM, how much?" I said like I was considering it. "Eight dollar" "How long?" "Tree minute" I took a breath an pulled up an extra little bit of courage out my newly polished toes and said "No." It kills me it really does. I can't take the pressure. I wasn't born into a bartering nation and I don't have the skills. But, I love what's left of my eyebrows and I'm even keeping the hairs that have moved over to my temples. Thank you, please put away your sharpie marker.

That was last summer. I thought it was a one time incident but last week it happened again. I mentioned wedding, the girl went straight to wax. I said no- a few times. Once again, saved my eyebrows. Who knew taking care of a weird toe nail would endanger my eyebrows.


  1. LOL. I'm with ya girl- I let someone wax my eyebrows once and I think she must have failed the course. I had a permanent quizzical look and it took forever for them to fill back in! How was the wedding?

  2. Kim- the wedding was awesome! Now I had slowly errupting abcess in a tooth, had worked several 12 hour days that week, was all drugged up for motion sickness (out of town wedding) and knew I would have to have obligatory sex when all was done but...still a great wedding. Little ornery this week. Thanks for asking. Now we have to talk about our mothers.....

  3. I was in hopes that by me adopting from China, I had cured your fear of the Asian ladies, but alas, my daughter is just like the waxer.... I know you fear all 36 lbs of her!

  4. I see her looking at my eyebrows from under those glasses....she's not fooling me!


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