Saturday, the morning of the wedding I took the ole' Subaru through the car wash. Car wash facilities intimidate me slightly (like the Asians) because I fear there is some small potential for me to screw up. Really, give me something with exact directions that even an idiot could follow and I start to sweat. You know the fear, the same one that you'll stand up to give a speech and your pants will fall down and you'll have forgotten to wear underwear. (Silly fear- as if the daughter of a 1960's repressed Catholic housewife would ever forget to wear underwear- one time with the chastity belt and you'll never undervalue a good pair of white cotton underwear!)
Back to the car wash- I never really get my tire lined up with the track exactly correct. The guy always has to do a lot of waving me back and forth with a polite smile on his face. I would be more embarrassed but hey, at least I don't work at a car wash and at the end of the ride I'm driving away.
This ride included a Mexican tour guide. For some reason (lack of sleep, maybe?) I forgot to read line number three and did not put my car in to neutral. The car wash made a strange noise and completely shut down. I looked up, startled. My polite Mexican guy pointed at line three and smiled. I complied.
Half way through the wash I was already bored. I noticed my camera and remembered there were pictures of Chinamommy and myself doing flowers for the wedding. As I was zooming in on the french fry stuck out of her mouth and thinking what great blog material this would be I realized something was off. I had been in the same spot for a really long time in car-wash terms. I looked up. While I had entered the car wash headed in a Southerly direction now my car was pointed in in a South West direction.
Apparently, I had really screwed something up when I had attempted to line up with the track. What would I do? Would five or six car wash employees come running up along side me to wave me back on? Would one throw open my door instructing me to get out while they drove my car back on telling me I had no business driving a car if I can't get through a simple car wash? Oh, I don't think so! I've been on the wrong side of worse vehicular situations than this! There's a reason I drive an all wheel drive Outback and its not just because it makes me think of all those keg parties out back of the woods!
My mantra has always been "If you don't get caught then no one can prove you really did it." I put my car in drive and got the hell out of that car wash and didn't look back. I had a lot of water spotting for a seven dollar car wash but like Scarlett O'Hara, I filed that under "I'll think about that tomorrow."