Saturday, May 29, 2010

I told my kid to puke on my feet- cuz I'm a mom and that's how I roll.

That kid has been so sick! It started with a stomach virus and cough (weird mixture but it is 2010, even viruses are sick of using the same old symptoms) that racked her poor little body and just wouldn't quit. No one could sleep. I had her right next to me trying to keep her upright so she wouldn't choke. After days of no-one sleeping- we took her to her cute doctor. All cute doctor saw wrong was some swollen tonsils. Gave her some antibiotics "to knock that cough out of her system."

They did help some, instead of coughing all the time she coughed less often and so hard that she started throwing up. The cough would start with this heart stopping wheeze that scared the beJesus out me and hubby. Back to the doc. Different Doc, not cute doc. He said virus + allergies were now the culprits. "Worst allergy season in ten years" He gave us samples of a medicine used by asthmatics and people with bronchial problems. Now she's on 5 different meds- antibiotics, Singulair, cough medicine, zantac and good ole tylenol. I did ask if there would be any negative interactions or reactions. I was told no. (?????)

We (she and I) are sleeping on the sofa so I can reach over every couple of hours and prop her back up to keep her from starting up the coughing fit which could turn into puking. Before you go thinking what a saint I am, get the real picture which is me saying tersely "Come on- if I've told you once I've told you a million times- sit up more, kid, I don't want to clean up anymore puke!!!" She's sound asleep, don't worry, she won't remember this until her therapist regresses her later in life.

So things are slowly getting better. SLOWWWWLY, I say. She still throwing up though and I have no clue what to do about that- if you do, please share. Last night she started coughing after she ate so off she went down the hall. I had just sat down to eat and was about two bites in when I hear this spectacular splashing sound that tells me she didn't make it. I'm thinking- that one was so good I bet if I woulda recorded it I could have sold it to some sound effects company and paid for....then- jolting me out of my money making fantasy- I hear a plaintive "mmmMMMOOMMM...." so I drop my fork and run down the hall and I get there just in time to realize there's going to be a re-make. She starts to run in to the bathroom but I stop her because using my super mom intuition I know she won't make it there either. "Just do it here, honey then I only have one ...." too late- she obliged and then I realized that she had just thrown up on my feet. She's a good girl. She does what she's told.

I didn't finish my supper, instead I took a shower. When I husband asked why I wasn't eating I told him it was my new diet plan. Seeing your dinner partially digested does make the appetite wane. So that's it- my new diet plan- feel free to use it.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Can I be in your movie?

Geesh! I thought I wouldn't blog much this week- I even stated that in my last cute and fuzzy post. But today I checked in on friend Chinamommy and saw this-


sidebar-You should know that Chinamommy and I are quite good friends and are similar in so-o-o-o many ways and that I adore her. (She adores me, too, why wouldn't she?)We have the sacred ability (not born onto many, reserved for quirky people like us) to take ordinary events, facts and features and really distort them until they are no longer recognizable in a way that makes ordinary people squish up their face sideways, mutter "you're a little strange, I don't get you..." and then sidle away like the cowards that they are.

Here's her post- a portion anyways-



Jamie Lee Curtis, although I love her children's books and she's a fellow adoptive mama, she bugs me!


This woman is BEGGING me daily from the television to make a movie about my digestive system!
Really Jamie?? 'cause girl, you KNOW i would!!
If I eat her yogurt, I'm going to poop everyday in the easiest way! Hey Jamie, perhaps it's TMI, but just because YOU are the one bringing it up... I'm all good in the potty dept, but...
IF you really want that movie, you wouldn't have to twist my arm to hard...
Remember, I'm the girl with the
I ❤ to Fart
shirt!
I would like to add...
what happened to my cute, glittery blog about crafts and etsy love?
I find it hard to stay on topic... NO, really???!!!!
Don't worry, I will continue to sprinkle glitter amongst my poo stories and don't worry friends, IF I make that Activia movie I will only make Jamie Lee Curtis watch it (while tied to a toilet in Mobile, Alabama...


HEY CHINAMOMMY! I want to be in your poo movie! Not cuz I like poo or farting. You and I both know I have issues about "bathroom matters" even now I can barely type those words. I want to squish up my face and sidle away like the clever coward that I am. Hey, I use the bathroom- everyone does. I just don't want to talk about it. I remember being beside my grandmother in her sick bed and the doctor asking about her "movements" which about made me faint- did he not see me there- in the room? Hellooo....dignity, people, they call it dignity!!! She crabbily answered while wringing her hands- " I don't know why everyone is so interested in my bathroom habits!" And there I was going "Hey, I'm with you Grandma! I don't want to know about your activities anymore than you want to talk about them!"

But, here's my role as I see it! I'm the commentator. The very uncomfortable commentator who can't quite believe she drew the short straw for this job. The one who would rather do the director in a back lot trailer than do this movie. (Well, maybe she would- she doesn't really want to be bothered with sex either...but other than that she's perfectly normal- right?) The commentator that struggles with maintaining her professionalism as she discusses the uncomfortable issue. The commentator that can't quite maintain her expression because her face keeps distorting into that- I just had a bug fly in my mouth and now I am chewing it slowly- expression. And as the commentator is supposed to be reading the script she keeps slipping in comments about how her mother always said she would be a good nurse and if she could stand bodily fluids she might have considered it but instead- chose TV as a career.

Yeah, consider this my application for the position. I think we could do something here- something big, no pun intended! Jamie Lee would be rolling on her $100/yd wool carpet watching our movie- especially when you slip into your wig and do your Granma imitation- rubbing your belly and exclaiming "Oh- misery!"

Here's a list of words I'd like to stay away from-
intestines
innards
flatulence
gas
movements
bowel
toilet
stool
poo
secretions
(oh, that one I have abolished from my mind that means- oh yeah, excrement!)
fecal anything
etcetera, etcetera


I could substitute words like my safe words (Fluffy White Bunnies, Fluffy white bunnies...)

And my exiting scene would be me in the fetal position saying just that...Fluffy white bunnies...fluffy white bunnies....

Let me know, Chinamommy- I'm ready to start rolling film....

And that's a wrap, for today!

Sunday, May 23, 2010




I'm just poking my head in to say "Hi!"

This work of art is by Brooke.
She said to me the other day "Mom, do you remember when I was a baby and I had my favorite toy Gaffie?" and I said "Yes. But I think it got all crazy and made weird noises that scared Mommy so we gave it away." (You know to really poor kids who don't care if the cute yellow giraffe jerks its neck around like its having a seizure and the lullaby it used to play now sounds like bad movie music right before the demons come out of the wall- we're thoughtful that way in this house!)


Anyhow, I'd like to propose a project to my followers! I love children's artwork. I could try my hardest and not come anywhere near the simple joy and creativity that I see in kid's art.
I'd love for you to send me you favorite artwork by your child/ren and I will make a gallery of all of them. I will post as little or as much information regarding the artwork as you like. I will not be judging them (as I think we all know I might just be a little biased)but rather sharing them .
Whaddaya think? Want to? Let me know! Email to chrischronicles@gmail.com


I may not be posting much this week- my kid is still battling tonsillitis which may have turned into sinus problems. Add to that two assignments for my drafting class I should have created two weeks ago- due tomorrow at 9:00AM and suddenly out of no where my boss calls me begging for help! Turns out a meeting with client went really well but he wants design drawings by Tuesday before he jets out of town. We all know what the economic climate in Michigan is like so we said "of course!" so on this sunny 85 degree day I will be at my computer and my drafting board after- I say after- I find every way possible to procrastinate! (because that's how I roll- at 41 I don't think I'm gonna go achangin') Posting is a good way to procrastinate!

Send me those works of art from your youngins!
They don't even have to be your youngins! I've got a Mayberry thing going on today- think I'll go put on some cut off dungarees.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Topaz Alert!!!

MISSING!!! One white wire birdcage needed to answer the proverbial question- what to do with this chic's head!!!!

Why "Topaz" Alert? Well, I like the term "Amber Alert" but a missing 2" wire birdcage is probably not quite as serious as a true Amber Alert. So using what little social sensitivity I have at my disposal (emphasis on the word little) I decided to call my traumatic situation Topaz Alert. I considered "Vermilion", another nice color but thought it was a bit of a tongue twister. Cerise is yet another lovely shade but still did not roll off the tongue easily. So- Topaz it is.

Now, where would you be if you were a small wire birdcage in Chris's house? Yes, Chinamommy- I did grill Kayla but perhaps a cavity search is in order....

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ya know...I think I'll just put a birdcage on her head and call it good....
I've mentioned Kristie from Cheeky Green Designs before- remember? She works in felted wool which I think is so cool. She has an etsy store, she makes fabulous purses and wallets out of re-purposed materials. She's all about re-cycling, reusing and reducing. Well- I am really excited to share with you that she has been asked to have some of her work featured in a magazine this August.





This purse, which I love because pink (and orange and all shades of melon) is loved by all well balanced, really hip and with it people- is going to be shown in Green Craft magazine. How awesome is that? Well, I'll tell ya- not many of us can say "I'm published" so its right up there!

Here's the matching wallet-



Well, anyhow, I am very happy for you, Kristi, Congrats! Now- has anyone else who visits with me published? Come on- spill it and share!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

All right, all right....got it back- apparently when I updated my settings to "new editor" it took away my icon to add photos or at least put the icon somewhere else...holy cow... could life get any more difficult? We need a new car, looks like hubby needs a new job in this state that is losing jobs by the minute- meaning we no longer have health insurance so of course my kid gets tonsilits....please, God, don't take away my ability to post pictures. Really it could be the proverbial straw.

I'm still not warming up to MS.Lady here. I think its because all the "serious" peices I have done until now have been so 'not about clothing' that they have been dressed in not much more than rags. So to put something on her that looks like a cocktail dress.... not feeling right....but I am working from an inspiration picture. A piece of contemporary art with all these colors.



Wondering what's in the "captured" spaces? Enamel paint? Well of a sort...(see if you can guess) and I have no idea how it will hold up over time....(that's a hint....)



Can you see the addition of more keys? I like that and so that will stay. Let me know what you think. If ever I have needed or wanted in put it is on this one.

Monday, May 17, 2010

And do you like my slide show? Its symbolic of my lost ability to share photos with you. So here, rather than look at my pictures- enjoy these scenic shots of places you can't be. Rest assured, I am not there either.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Ya know, I went into my tools category and deleted some temporary files- like a bazillion- and not only is my computer not faster, its slower, but things are missing! Sitemeter..., my background from two weeks ago, my option to add pictures to this post.... yeah, I can add a link now...not that I have one but pictures...I had pictures to add.... I don't know...any suggestions on how to get it all back? My pictures, my youth, all those choices I had.... just wondering.....

Thursday, May 13, 2010

This week-








Yes, I stole these photo's from my friends, Cheeky Green and China Mommy. We went to lunch Monday. Being somewhat psychic (yeah right, like I am somewhat wealthy) I knew I would have to bring something for share time.

I brought my new book on Encaustic Painting which I am very excited to try someday. Its not a cheap in though- that wax is fairly expensive. One day.... Cheeky Green is right- I did propose an play day at her house with the encaustic wax. I think that would save us all time in learning the ins and outs of it and I am sure three people with great ideas should produce some really cool results. Kristi has an awesome set up for art making. Oh, to not have children.....

Don't I look like a nice person? I'm the brown haired one with no shoulders- a physcial flaw that is making me look like my grandma. I think my shoulder muscles are in my bra but I'm not sure, every time I check the boobs fall out and hit the floor. When I roll them up and squeeze them back in their containment system I think my shoulder muscles get all wrapped up inside. Makes me think of those sandwich rolls you can buy at the deli. Can you tell what week it is? I switched my usual self love with self loathing.

I had to throw in this picture of Chinamommy (again- stolen without permission from her blog- you can come and punish me, Chinamommy but I might have to hit you with one of my roll-ups and you could get hurt)because it is just too damn funny. She's 41 (I think- right?) And this is how she acts???? Honest- Please!!! Someone make a billboard and buy me a mask too!!! Love it!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Reply-

Ok, guys, great comments- they must be answered.
Ummm, I don't know what will be on the inside of this last lady. The phrase captured spaces came to mind when I looking her over. Any place the wire makes a circle is most definitely a created space. Other spaces are implied by the winding path of the wire. And of course the door that open will reveal yet another captured place.

So if a birdcage captures a bird maybe that is appropriate for this hidden room. I'm thinking the mermaid may have to bide her time to be used later.

Cloisonne or enamel- anyone have a clue as to how to accomplish this on top of paper clay on something that can't really lay flat? I thought of using some sort of resin but it seems problematic. I may try to layer up some gesso. Eeek! What have I gotten myself into?

Any thoughts or suggestions? Seriously!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A new twist on an old piece.

Oh my! Will I ever be done paying the piper? I AM tired of playing catch up! Spent the last half of the day working on the new drafting class that is replacing my drafting class. I think I have held up my 1/3 of the deal but am not sure. Today, because the other 2/3rds want to have a meeting this next week, I spent several hours doing what I pledged to do a month ago. And I'm not done. But at least I have something to show for my sorry self when I get to the meeting!

Let's talk art! Remember this girl?


I thought I was so cool to finally create this woman with the secret hiding place? OK, you know I'm tired because I was just thinking-geesh, that sounds perverted! And then I went off on a tangent and this happened?



And then I put her away, far away, because every time I looked at her all she said was "NO, this isn't working!" I love her shape- long, thin, elegant. I don't necessarily dislike the birdcage but....somehow the word Victorian keeps popping in my head. AND I'M NOT VICTORIAN! Not one little bit. Actually Victorian anything kinda creeps me out. Those pictures of all those overdressed unhappy people just make me think of every ghosty horror movie I've seen. What is that one- somebody gave her momma 40 wacks? I can just picture little girls playing ring around the rosy right now.

So, this weekend, rather than do the work I had obligated my self to, I ripped off the Victorian hair do and started fresh. This is what she looks like now.









Whew, I feel better! Now, do I have any idea what happens from here? NO. The birdcage might still be part of the picture. I do have this cool little metal mermaid embellishment along with some sea horses and sand dollars I picked up at Michaels. I also keep thinking of that type of art- enameled?? Cloisonne?? I am way too tired- can't think, can't spell. I thought I might fill in the areas created by the wire, either with texture or a contrasting shiny paint,hence my reference to enamel. Ok, enough for now! Hope you approve of the new direction!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The what's up list.

Because I know you are all dying to know more about me-

What do I really appreciate right now?
This kid, as always, astounds me with her personality and beauty. I know, every kid is beautiful to their parent. She was beautiful to me when she was born premature and looked like an alien. The nurse who was holding her made that likeness but as I gave her the "I still have tons of pregnancy hormones running amuck" look she quickly explained "pre- mees either look like aliens or monkey babies." I decided alien was OK.




What's weirding me out right now?
The kid from the above statement has taken to making weird breathing noises while she eats. I've tried everything to get her to stop. I'm really sensitive to noises and really particular about eating habits- not mine, other people's. My last attempt to get her to quit was "STOP doing THAT- people will think you're retarded!" To which she responded "What's retarded?" and then I had to explain its a word that people don't use anymore to describe people that ride the short bus. Surprisingly, she still makes the noise.

What's cracking me up right now?
This episode of "Sunny With a Chance" (teeny- bopper show, hate them all but this episode was too funny for its viewers to appreciate- only a weirdo like me truly gets it!) wherein one of the characters is a teen idol who was setting a fashion trend of wearing extra skinny pants. Trouble was they were cutting off circulation- a condition newly classified as SPS- skinny pants syndrome.Being an 80's teenager I love the chance to laugh at tight jeans coming back into fashion. The starlett was forced to wear these blow up pants to cure her syndrome but after being caught in them she ran off and put the skinny pants back on. Her caring friend commanded "Put on your medicine pants!" (That's a funny statement right there!) but Starlett refused and promptly fell down as her circulation became compromised. Undaunted she declared "I'd rather crawl HOT than walk UGLY" Seriously- Why didn't I write that episode? Still cracking me up, days later. I think I'll go get me some medicine pants!

What am I doing to be more healthy?
Take this Healthy Thinking Thursday Group! I'm walking (not fast, I'm not crazy) on the treadmill!

What am I doing to make the most of my time?
Trying to do art while walking on the treadmill.
How's it going, you wonder.....not well. My sketches are very sketchy and laying the sketch book on the thingy where the numbers are you know, pulse, mph, calories burnt- whatever that's called-keeps restarting the timer so I have no idea how long I've been on there but I suspect its not as long as it seems.

What do I recommend not doing?
Drinking beer while on the treadmill. As tempting as a cold beer may seem after a long hot walk it does defeat the purpose. I am currently conducting a study and will apprise you of the results.

Well, that's all for now folks. I think I will try another 5 minute stint on the 'ole mill and then maybe shop the Internet for some blow up pants in a size small. Not little teenage girl small. Forty-one year old short with an elastic waist band.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Introducing Anastacia and Violet


Remember these two? I did officially give them the names of Anastacia and Violet. I had such a hard time deciding between those names and Helen and Hazel. I just came to believe that Helen and Hazel will have a different story.

Anastacia was the older of the two cousins and would come to visit Violet and her family in the late summer. Violet found her older cousin to be so very sophisticated, coming from the big city and all.



On Sunday afternoons, still in their church dresses, they would sneak outside, away from the grown ups and their grown up coffee and cake. Shoes would fly as they swung. Violet would press for stories of the boys that came calling on Anastacia and Anastacia was happy to oblige.




As summers went by Anastacia could see Violet blooming. "Don't worry, Violet, small town or not, boys will be calling on you by the dozen. Soon you will forget me and our visits. I will marry and you will marry and our lives will be so different."



Violet replied smiling "Do you really think so? Boys calling for me? I do hope to marry but I will never forget these days. They are the best days."





Indeed the two cousins did eventually marry and indeed they did remember those sunny afternoons. After all, they were the best days.



You may not remember- it is a family story that these names came from. My Nana, who did not like the fact that she did not have a middle name would say "My name is ...." and she would rattle off five or so names that she coveted. The only ones I can remember from the story are Anastacia and Violet. Hazel and Helen are sisters in real life, my Grandmother and Great Aunt.

I'd like to thank Kristi from Cheeky Green Designs for her help today in finding just the right embellishments for Vi's hair so I could call her done. She stayed late at work and I really appreciate that. Kristi helped me with Tiny Pole Dancer as well- finding just the perfect cupcakes for a teeny-tiny cupcake bra is no easy feat but she rose to the challenge. Thanks, Kristi!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Look at this!



These fantastic doodles were created by June from the blog- A creative Dream. I first came across this blog when I was playing my favorite game- blog jumping. I go to a blog I follow and jump to a blog they follow. If I like=I follow. Then I go to one of the blogs they follow and do the same. That was back in the day when I had spare time (mostly at work...) I have to identify with something about the person or their art.

I liked this blogger's description of herself-about trying to find grace. I particularly like her art dolls- you have to see the latest, she has the sweetest, most serene, face- and I love that you have to look "in" at her to get a good glimpse. I recommend you GO NOW. http://acreativedreamer.blogspot.com

She also creates these most amazing doodles that I could stare at for hours and get lost in all the intricacies. In March she had a give away of 15 doodles and guess what... I WON! I never win anything and that's what I posted on her blog. REALLY- some people have luck, my mother-in-law and husband can walk into a casino and win a few hundred dollars. I can't win over the gaze of a cocktail waitress! But it was close to St. Patrick's day and I must have channeled some Irish heritage and I WON!
So of course, I will be framing them and hanging them, with honor, in my art space! Thank you again, June, this is better than money- to win original art from a fellow blogger!